Australia the Movie is currently going nuts here in Aussie, mainly with old people.  It’s some stupid love story based back in the day of horses, and shit.

So based on the trailers shown on TV over here, here are the 6 reasons I will NOT see this movie.

6. Lack of Mullets
Mullets were, and are a major part of Australia.  Bogans have them, bogan’s kids have them, and even their wives do.  This is a major part of our county, and the world deserves to know of our bogan ways.

5. Lack of Winnie Blues
You show me one smoker in Australia who didn’t at one point in time smoke Winnie Blues, and I’ll show you a try hard little wanker who probably wears his hat sideways, and is lucky he hasn’t tripped over his pants which are haning halfway down his arse, because it’s cool.  That or I’ll show you a homosexual, or a hippie.

4. Falcons and Commodores
It’s without a doubt the dumbest thing they could have missed.  XF Falcons, VL Commodores and VN Commodores.  This movie is about Australian history, as are these cars.  They are heaps of shit from the past, yet they are still driven like they are the newest and best car on the road.  Should be in the movie.

3. Singlets and Southern Cross Tattoos
On this Australia Day, I am disgusted to think that the above does not make it into this movie.

2. Thongs
No thongs in a movie about Australia?  Fail.

1. Nicole Kidman
She sucks some serious ass at acting, she was married to tom cruise, and she’s not a real Australian.  Oh, and she is married to Keith Urban (LOLZ!) and name her baby Sunday Rose.  She is not worthy of a movie sporting such a great name.